Jokes humor and funny sms 4
When he was five years old, he wanted to become a lawyer. Now that he is a lawyer, he acts like a five-years old.
There are now three ways of describing a glass with water half of
its volume. It is either half-full, half-empty or half-safe to drink.
He loves his girlfriend more when she is not around.
I may not be Pepsi, the choice of the new generation. I may not be
Coca Cola, only the real thing. I may not be Nido, the world's number 1
but I can be PLDT, clearly for you.
Nasa bundok ka, mahuhulog cell phone mo at girlfriend mo, anong
gagawin mo? Magpakatotoo ka brother! Sagipin mo ang cell phone mo at
sigaw mo sa girlfriend mo, text na lang kita!.
Someone claimed that Maria Clara could not be the model of Filipino
women. "History never mentioned that she brushed her teeth," was the
explanation.
The only person who can make her smile is a dentist.
Looks may capture the eyes but it's the personality that captures the heart. Kainis, I have both.
I wrote your name in the sky but the wind blew it away. I wrote your
name in the sand but the water washed it away. I wrote your name every
where! Hinuli ako ng pulis!
When you feel that nobody loves you, that nobody cares, when all you
can do is cry and walk away because everyone is against you, then you
are the weakest link. Goodbye!
At this moment 3.7 million are sleeping, 2.3 million are falling in
love, 4.1 million are eating and only 1 cutie in the whole world is
reading this message. Naks! Nakangiti na yan!
Fifty years from now, tanda na ko nun! Di na cute, wala ng appeal,
uugud-ugod, nguya nganga, dala baston. Pero pag uso pa ang text, iti
text pa rin kita.
You think I'm nice, I think you're nice. You think I'm kind, I think
you're kind. You think I can be trusted, I think you can. You think I'm
cute, and I think you're right.
You can buy gifts but not love. You can pretend smile but not
happiness. You can lie to others but not to yourself. You can have
another friend but not as cute as I am!
If you're like my pillow, you're huggable. If you're like my cell
phone, you're smart. If you're my chocolate, you're sweet. If you're
like me, grabe and cute mo naman!
Everything about you is perfect - your lips, your skin, your eyes,
your body. Perfect! You're lucky to be born beautiful, not like me, who
was born to be a big liar.
You'll never know who your friends are… till you stumble and fall.
And till you feel his hands on your shoulder as he says, "Yan
tatanga-tanga kasi".
Any man who can text while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the text the attention it deserves.
If you're not cute don't continue reading this.... Naks! yan ang
gusto ko sayo eh, lakas ng fighting spirit mo! O pumipindot pa! Lupit
mo!
A kiss can be a comma, a question mark, a colon, or an exclamation point... So don't dare to kiss me coz I might get crazy,?.!
The Pinoy politician does not fail to smile in front of the camera. Why? Guilt tickles when there is too much light.
This message was sent exclusively for the handsome and the
beautiful. We have obviously sent it to the wrong number. We are truly
sorry for the inconvenience.
Each of us has his own fear but sooner or later we must face it. It
takes a lot of guts to overcome it. So don't be afraid to face your
fear. Go ahead, take a bath. Good a.m.
Newsflash: Policemen saving a woman who appears to be jumping off a
building. Policeman: Bumaba ka dyan maraming nagmamahal sa yo! Woman:
Wag kayo makialam, di ako makapag -send!
If only I'm an angel, I'll protect you. I'll lend you my wings. I'll watch over you. But I'm not an angel, hawig lang.
When a veteran actor dies, women weep. When a young actor dies, girls cry, "Sayang!"
I don't know how to say this. We are friends but I can't get you out
of my mind. This is wrong but you're the only one I could think of.
This might break our friendship, but I have to say this. Pautang naman!
The smell of a woman should stay with you. The smell of a man should
come to you as you go to him and leave you with only a memory, not a
headache.
Kahit NISSAN ka STAREX ka ng buhay ko, masKIAnong mangyari, HONDA
kitang pagMAZDAn at SUZUmpang SUZUKIlian ka ng buong katapatan. DODGE
what friends are FORD!
A husband coming home from a confession and lifts his wife and
carries her on his shoulder. Wife: Did the priest tell you to be so
romantic like this? Husband: No, he told me to carry my cross.
What do you do when you see an extremely cute person? Ako, I stare
at the person and smile, but when I get tired, I just put the mirror
down. Nakakangawit eh!
No one is too fat to run, except the Pinoy policeman.
Help! Nasa presinto ako. Nahuli kasi ako while I was working kanina.
The charge was possession of cute face. I had no choice but plead
guilty. Lakas ng ebidensya nila e!
Five reasons why I keep texting you:
1. You made me feel welcomed
2.
You made me smile
3. You appreciate my thoughts
4. You spend time
reading my messages
5. Di ako kuripot tulad mo!
When you feel left out and all alone, just try to close your eyes
for a moment and think of me. Afterwards, you will suddenly smile and
say, text ko nga ang cute na yon!
Ang ganda ng umaga because of you. Ang ganda ng dream ko, it was all
about you. Ang sakit ng ulo ko, puro you na lang ng you. Sabi ni doc,
maybe because I miss you.
When she talks about the town, she calls it news. When the town talks about her, she calls it 'tsismis'.
I looked at the sky. The sky is beautiful. I looked at you. I looked at the sky na lang ulit.
Money will buy a bed but not sleep, food but not appetite, amusement
but not happiness. You see, money is not everything. Therefore, if you
have too much, please send it to me ASAP!
I'm afraid to die not because it will hurt or I don't know what will
happen, but because I might be waiting for you in Heaven and be
disappointed.
Some people choose friends who are thoughtful and caring. Some
prefer those who are smart and good looking. When you chose me, pinakyaw
mo na lahat.
Everyone, except me, wants to become a millionaire. I want to become a billionaire.
I know you've got plenty of friends. Some are old, some are new.
Some are false, some are true. I may not be your perfect friend, but one
thing I will always be - the cutest you've got.
I live a very difficult life. I'm always hurt! Whenever people call
me cute, good looking, smart and lovable, I'm always hurt! Totoo pala,
the truth hurts!
I asked my guardian angel for a friend whom I can love forever. She
gave me you. And so I called on her again and asked: "Wala na bang
iba?"
Yesterday is history.... Tomorrow is a mystery.... Today is a gift.... That's why its called the present!
I'm not sure what life could bring you. I'm not sure if dreams do
come true. I'm not sure what love can do. But I'm sure about one thing.
Cute tayo.
Let go of the one who makes you cry. Let go of the one who breaks
your heart. Let go of the one who causes you much pain. But never let go
of me because mahirap maghanap ng cute na ka-text.
People are always looking for cute ones, the perfect ones, the
gorgeous ones, the smart ones, the sweet ones. Lagi na lang ako! Ako!
Ako!
If you save this message, it means cute ako. If you edit it, cute pa
rin ako. If you delete it, naiinggit ka kasi cute ako. Pero kung
ipoforward mo, pinagkakalat mong cute ako.
What's the difference between pleasure and torture? Pleasure is thinking of you and torture is thinking of you too much.
I'm so sorry for not telling you this before. You ought to know how
smart, cute, witty, sweet, charming, alluring and wonderful you are!... I
didn't know I've influenced you that much!
Others say life is unfair. Well, it's true. Others are jealous of
you. And they really should be. Wanna know why? Hmmm… coz you have a
cute text mate like me.
Playboy, speaking to a girl: "I want you to know that I value our
relationship very much. In fact, I find you as my most favorite
girlfriend."\
Newsflash: Police are looking for a suspect who's smart, sexy, witty
and very gorgeous. They've already eliminated you from the list of
suspects. Where do you think I should hide?
If I were to make a dictionary: CUTE=you; SWEET=you; THOUGHTFUL=you; GOOD LOOKING=you; GORGEOUS=you; LIAR=me!
When somebody who's deeply in love with you tells you that you're
cute, beautiful, and angelic, I agree. That's true, believe me, I swear.
Cause love is blind!
Those innocent eyes... Those kissable lips... A great smile... The
perfect walk... Smoothest talk... Absolutely gorgeous.. That's enough
bout me. How about you?
When I was lost, you were there. When I was down, you were there.
When I was bankrupt, you were there. When I almost died, you were
there... Teka, baka ikaw ang malas sa buhay ko!
It takes patience to keep a nagging wife; fortune to keep an ambitious wife; four eyes to keep a pretty wife.
Dear fellow texters, Due to Globeline problems, we are experiencing
delayed messages. This is why as early as now I would like to greet you a
Merry Christmas.
Trivia: Having a good laugh with friends stimulates endorphins, the
brain's natural painkillers. So if you need to laugh and you can't find a
friend, I can lend you a mirror.
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Eller overdel store merkevare metall dekorative dekket logo mønster, dette har vært populært i våre sinn til å legalisere flat sko utseende, ville jeg gjerne ønske denne spesielle festivalen min mor god jul!
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